The Imposters

There is a popular book series entitled “Eat This, Not That.” The book tells you how to make healthy choices at restaurants and grocery stores and how to avoid unhealthy foods that may be masquerading as nutritious foods. For example, the author will show you a seemingly innocuous grilled chicken sandwich and then tell you it has as much saturated fat as a box of doughnuts. It’s actually pretty terrifying. I think the big surprise is that many of these foods look healthy- fruit smoothies, grilled chicken, salads. Most people would agree that a chocolate fudge milkshake is not a health food and should be an occasional treat. But salads are viewed as healthy, not indulgences, so an unhealthy salad feels like an imposter.

We are surrounded by imposters, by products and strategies that promise to satisfy us and make us happy and healthy, but fail to deliver. Usually they just leave us wanting more. We see an advertisement for the new iPad and believe that it will make us happier. But how long does the novelty last? We believe that an exotic vacation will refresh us and yet we come home more tired than when we left. We believe that if we could lose those last 10 pounds, get that next raise, buy that new car, than we would be happy. If we can just make it through the work day and get to the point that we could put our feet up and zone out in front of the TV or the internet…then life will be good.

Imposters come in many forms. Products that promise happiness to their possessor. Financial success or security. Hobbies and activities that we used to enjoy but that have taken on an obsessive quality. We used to shop, eat, and watch TV. Now we overshop, overeat, and schedule our social calendar around the TV guide. Judith Wrights says, “These seemingly harmless habits like overshopping, overeating, watching too much TV, endlessly surfing the internet, procrastinating- they actually keep us from the life we want. They cost us money, rob us of time, numb us from our feelings, mute our consciousness, and drain our energy."

The genius of these imposters is that they are often things that have an appropriate place in our lives. There is nothing wrong with watching TV, spending time online, shopping, enjoying good food or new technology. The problems come when we expect these activities to satisfy, fulfill, and bring us energy. We are in troubled waters when we begin to look to these imposters to bring us life.

I believe that these imposters (and our willingness to accept them) are some of the biggest enemies to living life to the fullest. We buy into the lie that these things will make us happy. And so, we chase and pursue them, often at the cost of the people and priorities that we say we value most. But instead of being content and satisfied, we find ourselves either hungering and thirsting for more, or just feeling numb.

If these are the imposters, what is the real deal? What will satisfy, fulfill, and energize? I believe that the answer is relationships. Relationships with God, others, and self. When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, He answered: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-29). I believe that these commandments speak to the crucial importance of relationships. The first and preeminent relationship is with God. By loving the Lord with all your being, you are actively engaged in an intimate relationship with Him. By loving your neighbor you are refusing isolation, risking your heart, and pursuing relationship. And, by loving yourself (loving your neighbor as yourself implies loving yourself) you are caring for your heart and pursuing the person God made you to be.

The thing about the Imposters is that they often crowd out the space needed for relationships. It is difficult to be engaged with a friend if you are both texting, e-mailing, and taking phone calls through your time together. It is difficult to hear the Lord whispering to your heart if there is never quiet time to hear the whispers. And, it is next to impossible to wholeheartedly pursue the Lord when your desires for the Imposters blunt your desire for Him.

So I challenge you to look at your life. Where are you finding yourself believing the Imposters, asking them to fulfill you? Engaging in activities you think you should enjoy, but finding yourself drained or numbed afterward? Identifying the Imposters is a crucial step. Then look at your relationships, in each of the categories I discussed. How are you staying connected to the Lord? Are you engaging with your family and friends? Are you listening to your heart and taking time for yourself?