Last week my old laptop caught on fire. Really and truly sparked and flamed. No people or property were injured, but that laptop took its dying breath and went out in a blaze of glory. Truthfully, I am surprised it lasted as long as it did. That little machine survived three years of graduate school, a dissertation, a move to Vermont, and some pretty serious abuse from a determined toddler. It worked itself to death, until the moment that it could not handle anymore and it quite literally burned out. I’ve seen lots of people do the same.
Many times we feel empty, exhausted, and worn out. This is no surprise, and certainly is not an indication that we are doing something wrong. As human beings we have limited physical and psychological resources. We need rest, we need recharging. This is reflected everywhere we look. The changing seasons reflect periods of active growth and rest. Fields are planted, harvested, and let lie. Tides ebb and flow. Our bodies need sleep, food, and water or they cease to function.
Yet many of us do not recognize or honor the need to rest and recharge. We are busy, we have obligations to fulfill and demands to meet. We are constantly accessible by e-mail or phone, we ceaselessly receive texts and e-mails. There is often no real down time, because we are always available and on call. When we do think about taking a break, we feel guilty caring for our hearts and bodies, as if we should not have normal human limits. It can feel selfish to think or talk about taking care of yourself. And many times, we just don’t pay attention to whether or not we are caring for our hearts and bodies in the busy pace of life. We just don’t pay attention at all.
I believe this is one of the reasons people go through life only partly alive; they either do not know how to care for themselves, or they forget. So how do you care for yourself? First of all, pay attention to your physical needs. When we see children acting fussy, one of the first things we do is ask them if they are tired, hungry, or thirsty. And yet as adults, we forget to ask ourselves these questions. Are you pushing yourself so hard that your basic physical needs aren’t being met?
Sleep is often the first physical need to be neglected. Look at the physical effects of sleep deprivation: aching muscles, dizziness, nausea, dry mouth, hallucinations, hand tremors, headaches, increased blood pressure, irritability, memory loss, slow word recall. Even relatively mild sleep deprivation can cause many of these symptoms. It is very difficult to be the person you were made to be when you are consistently physically exhausted. I know that certain stages of life are not at all conducive to sleep. But you need to make regular sleep a priority in order to really care for yourself. This may mean missing a favorite TV show, letting laundry go unfolded, cutting short a social gathering, or going to bed earlier than you thought you ever would as an adult. Prioritizing sleep is prioritizing your optimal functioning.
Another aspect of self-care that people often neglect is adequate nutrition. There are physical and emotional consequences for not eating enough or not eating food with real nutritional value. Our bodies need real food and water to function. I am not preaching any specific diet or advocating cutting out ice cream, caffeine, or anything else. What I am advising is taking a look at your eating patterns to see if you are really taking care of yourself in this department.
Sleep and food are the basics, but for us to thrive physically (which makes it easier to thrive emotionally, relationally, and psychologically) we need activity too. Healthy bodies were made to move. It’s hard to over-emphasize the therapeutic value of physical activity. Walk, ride a bike, play tag, garden. Whatever it is that you do that gets your body moving, do it.
Perhaps you read the last post about living fully alive and expected something more. Something more profound, something more spiritual, something new. I mean, we all know that we need sleep and food and water and we all know we should exercise. This is pretty simple stuff. And don’t worry, there is more. But these are the basics, and they are often neglected. I am amazed at how often I forget these simple principles and how often I see others doing the same. These are some of the first things I stop to assess when I notice that I am feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed. I think we could all use the reminder. After all, we don’t want to burn out.
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