Help!

The other day we were driving in the car and the Beatles song “Help!” came on.

                Help me if you can I’m feeling down,

                And I do appreciate you being round.

                Help me get my feet back on the ground,

                Won’t you please, please help me.

As I listened, I found myself wishing that people (myself included) would be that direct in asking for help.  It seems that somewhere around age two we develop the notion that “I can do it by myself,” and many of us never quite grow past that conviction. 

In fact, in some ways asking for help is counter-cultural.  We live in a society that prizes and values those who are strong and independent.  We admire those who seem to do it all and we harshly judge those who seem to lean too heavily on others.

But I believe that the ability to ask for and receive help is a crucial life skill, right up there with knowing how to genuinely apologize and looking both ways before you cross the street.  Actually, I think that the ability to ask for help is a lot like looking both ways before you cross the street.  It’s a skill that can keep you from getting smashed to smithereens. 

Life can be hard and painful and difficult.  Sometimes it’s huge obstacles and significant tragedies and sometimes it’s just the steady stream of daily hassles, but either way life can wear us down.  We are human beings with amazing gifts and capabilities, and we are also limited creatures with limited resources.  We were not made to weather the hard, painful, difficult parts of life alone.  We were made for community and connectedness, to be supported and encouraged by one another and to offer our support and encouragement to others.  Perhaps you could make it across that busy intersection without looking both ways, but you’d probably get to the other side stressed, anxious, and quite possibly a bit scraped and bruised.  Perhaps you could make it through this rough season without asking for or accepting the support of others, but you will probably get to the other side worn out and worn down, and quite possibly worse for the wear.

I imagine that some of you may be reading this and nodding your head in agreement.  Yes, it is important that people ask for help.  You may even be thinking of specific ways that you can help a friend you know is going through a rough season.  That’s wonderful.  Now, take it a step further.  How are you at asking for help?  How are you at calling a friend and asking for emotional or physical help during a difficult season?  Could you call a friend and just to talk and cry and seek support?  Could you ask someone to help babysit, pack boxes before a move, or provide a meal after a surgery?  Many of us find it very difficult to accept these offers, let alone ask.

Others may be reading this and shaking their heads in disagreement.  You may pride yourself on your self-sufficiency and independence.  The idea of asking someone for help when you know you can get through this alone seems ridiculous.  I challenge you to think about why the idea feels so absurd.  Is it pride?  Are you trying to do it all on your own because you don’t think you need anybody?  Is it fear?  Are you afraid that you will ask for help and no one will come through?  Are you afraid that people will see you as weak or needy?  Play your own devil’s advocate.  What would you say if someone presented you with these arguments? 

The truth is that we need help in order to live happy and healthy lives.  We certainly need help from God, each and every day.  And, we need help from each other.  I have found that the way that we view asking for and receiving help from other people tells us a lot about the way that we view asking for and receiving help from God.  And that is a really big deal.

We all need help and we all need support.  Let’s practice being as brave and bold as the song and reaching out when we are in need.