One At a Time

June 19th. May 4th. These two dates seems to be eternally drilled into my brain. June 19th was the date of my dissertation defense, and from the moment that date was nailed down, my whole life seemed to revolve around getting to that date and all the work the needed to be completed before that day arrived. May 4th was my son’s due date, and I was naïve enough to believe that he would come at or before that date. So, from the time I saw two pink lines and knew the magic date, my whole world seemed to revolve around getting to May 4th. I had a relatively uncomfortable pregnancy, and I can remember ticking off the days on my calendar, wondering how I would manage 12 more weeks, 8 more weeks, 4 more weeks, and so on. In anticipation of both of those dates, I found myself living in the future, waiting, wondering, and worrying about what lay ahead.


I haven’t done an empirical study or read any statistics on this, but it seems that people sleep the worst on Sunday nights. And I don’t think it has anything to do with getting extra sleep Friday or Saturday nights. I think people are looking to the week ahead, and all that there is to do and accomplish and live through, and it keeps them awake. It is Sunday night, but they are already living in the reality of Tuesday afternoon, Thursday morning, and all the other hours in their week.

One of the wonderful things about the human brain is that it has the capacity to remember the past and anticipate the future. These two faculties also seem to cause us a great deal of trouble.

The ability to anticipate the future really is an amazing gift. Where would we be without our ability to plan and organize? To make an appointment for next week and keep that appointment? To know that we are going to want to eat dinner before 6:00 arrives and we are ravenously hungry with no food in the house? To be aware that we are low on gas and need to fill up before taking a long drive through a remote area? It is incredibly important that we be able to plan for and anticipate the future.

Yet for many of us, this skill has gotten rather warped. Rather than just planning our week, we find ourselves projecting ourselves forward into the week. Our thoughts and emotions fly ahead of us, and we find ourselves spending a great deal of time and energy worrying about what will unfold and how it will unfold. It seems that much of the worry and some of the anxiety that people experience is the direct result of trying to live in the future.

If much of the worry we experience is caused by trying to live in the future, it may help to remember that it is actually impossible to do so. We cannot really live in the future. It can’t be done. We only have this second, this moment to live in. Projecting ourselves forward and imagining how things could go does absolutely no good. “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:27) Someone once said that time was God’s gift to us because He knows we cannot handle everything at once. Accept the gift of time and stop trying to handle more than the moment.

I have heard many people say, “take it one day at a time,” and I believe there is much wisdom in that cliché. Truthfully, if we choose to remain in reality, it’s our only choice. I know that sometimes one day at a time feels like too much. Some mornings the distance between brushing your teeth when you get up to brushing your teeth before bed feels like an impossible climb. And those days, you take it one hour at a time. Or one minute. Or one second.

Place yourself firmly in the present and trust the next second and minute and hour to the One who holds all time. Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

So the next time you are lying awake in bed on a Sunday night and mentally rehearsing all that needs to unfold in the next five or six days, take a deep breath. Become aware of what is happening right then and there. Is your bed warm and cozy? Is your home quiet and peaceful? And choose to live there, in that moment instead.